from Smitty, referencing Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication (http://www.cnvc.org/).
I was listening to the chapter on connecting our feelings to our needs today, where Rosenberg was talking about how critism and blame statements are connected to an unmet need. He spoke about this activity where you look at all the blame and critisms you use on a regular basis and then to make an obervation on what someone has done that was a stimulus for those words. And then he goes on to say…
and this is the gold:
We help them see “all criticism, all blame is a tragic expression of an unmet need.”
that we can be more truthful by saying what the need is then any words which are criticising or blaming. This is hard because most people don’t have a language of needs. But this exercise helps them so they go down the list and find the trigger and then help them translate this into an unmet need.